I had a bad dream
Earlier in this week, my oldest babe came into our room in the middle of the night.
Came to me, mama I had a bad dream.
Come here, sugar, lets snuggle and pray.
Good dreams, good dreams come and stay.
Do you want me to tuck you in, sis?
No, I can do it, you stay cozy warm and feed the baby.
Okay, I love you. I’ll check on you when I’m done.
I’ll be okay.
I know you will be.
Later this week, another babe came into our room in the middle of the night.
Came to me, mommy I had a bad dream.
Come here, let’s snuggle and pray.
Good dreams, good dreams come and stay.
Do you want me to tuck you in?
Can I just stay and snuggle?
Of course. Do you want me to sing or pray again?
When I felt the pressure relax as sleep came to welcome this tiny human, I woke up my hubs.
Can you tuck him in?
I couldn’t sleep after that though.
Partly because he told me about his dreams and partly because I’m carrying so much weight in our blended family right now.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how thankful I am for the people in my daughter’s life when she is at her dad’s house.
I know if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she has someone to go to for comfort when she has bad dreams.
It’s not her dad.
I know this because she has told me. I also know it’s more natural for children to go to a female mother figure no matter if the child is a boy or girl. When my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night, I know the difference if he had a bad dream or wants to party by which parent he chooses to wake.
By the way, he always chooses daddy to party at 3am 🤣
I know if my daughter’s dad lived alone she would still be comfortable going to him, because he has and she did. I also know that it is not the same. Studying child development has explained it to me in depth but so does the Bible because of how God created man and women so differently and gave them different strengths and roles when providing for a family.
Recently, I have been accused of attempting to replace my stepson’s mom. When I first heard this accusation, I just shook my head… and chuckled. I shook my head because I know hurt people, hurt people and the accusation comes from a place of brokenness. I chuckled because, my life as a stepmom, I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
For the record, I’m not trying to replace her. How is that even possible 🤨🙄
Gosh, what was I supposed to do in the middle of the night?
Sorry kid, you’re going to have to wait a couple of days to receive comfort from your bad dream because that’s your mom’s job.
What about when he scrapes his knee?
Sorry kid, I can’t kiss your scraped knee or give you this cool dinosaur bandaid, you’re going to have to wait a couple days because that’s your mom’s job.
What about when I’m doing something fun with the other kids?
Sorry kid, I’m not making the matching dinosaur shirts you are so excited about because that’s your mom’s job, Hopefully she likes to craft.
The truth is, this little boy spends 50% of his time in our home and God has called me to love him.
SO, I AM GOING TO LOVE HIM.
I will love him if he comes to me with a bad dream.
I will love him when he falls and scrapes his knee.
I will love him as he does life with our family.
I believe God’s desire is for us, as parents, is to have a community of people pouring into our tiny humans and walking alongside them to grow closer to Him and learn to love themselves and others. We are not meant to do life alone. I will continue building a community of people in my children’s lives so that they have as many strong examples and people to go to in their times of need throughout the seasons of their life.
I know no one is trying to replace me and everyone adds value in a different way, shape or form. I’m thankful for the people in my children’s lives during this season. Thank you for loving all of us well.
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Hey Sister! I’m Mandy. I live by my faith, love my husband & kiddos, will do anything for tacos and believe community is life changing.