Real

Did you hit subscribe because you thought I am this perfectly polished and put together mama with all of the answers? Because you’re in for a roller coaster ride of disappointment! 

To be honest, I have no idea what I am doing. I think that is the blessing of all of this.  

I make mistakes that feel tremendous and tiny all at once. I pick fights with my husband {sorry babe!]. I worry about my kids sugar intake so we make homemade popsicles and then… I feed them boxed mac n cheese- all in the same day. My floors are covered in dog hair. My business has orders up to my eyeballs. Our schedule is WACK. But let me take a hot second to be a little more transparent, okay?

I am not okay with our new *normal.*I am a part of a book launch right now that is truly bringing me to my knees and rocking me to my core.Our family has two court cases open for our big kids- Both cases are polar opposites. This started in September. That’s right, we’ve been dealing with court stuff for not one but TWO cases for 8+ months. I don’t know the next time my family will see my mama- Doesn’t everyone just need their own mom sometimes?I feel like I’m failing as a wife.

I wonder why I have my own business at least twice a day. 

I haven’t created a to do list in months because none of it matters.

My youngest is probably never going to talk. 

Church, MOPs, bible study– all cancelled for an extended amount of time. I didn’t adapt very well and it shows.Pretty sure my kids think Taco Bell is life and I’ve permanently scarred them.I have four books started and no finish date in sight.

I think I’ve thrown more tantrums than my children lately.

But on the flip side⬇️

In the past I went through a divorce, thrived as an independent mama, learned as a single woman and now am remarried and doing life blended.

In 2016, committed to a faith based program called Celebrate Recovery. I completed a 9 month step study and it was completely transforming to my faith, life and relationships. I’ve learned how to set boundaries.

I was previously a teacher. I’m certified in special education, child development and behavior. I’ve been a business owner for over 7 years. 

I used to run marathons, maybe I’ll run more someday but right now chasing tiny humans is the perfect workout for me.

I’ve fundraised thousands of dollars for non profit organizations that are near and dear to my heart.

I’ve hosted workshops focusing on using positive affirmations.

My laundry schedule is legit. Now, if only my family would get on board. 

I intentionally work on my character flaws, usually.

Mentors make an incredible impact on my life.

Self development books and podcasts are my thing.

I have at least 5+ half started craft projects and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And most importantly, I NEED MORE FREAKING HUGS IN MY LIFE.

So I’m here to say that you’re about to get the real and the raw. My life right now, is not fluffy. Do I absolutely love my life, 100% YES. What I mean is, I didn’t start down this journey because I live a cookie cutter life and have a white picket fence. I started this journey because I’ve healed through a lot of struggle and somehow, there’s always different kinds of struggles right around the corner. 

And I know you have struggles, too. THAT is why I am here. No one is alone.

The most impactful lessons I’ve learned through my healing journey is, “God does not waste a hurt.” 

Healed people, heal people. But only if they are willing to be authentic and vulnerable and walk alongside others. Some of the things I have been through, I wouldn’t wish upon ANYONE. But since I have gone through it, I know others will go through it and will even face worse. 

I am not here to be fluffy and funny but to be fearless in doing God’s work. I am here to be a light.