Just a little game of cards
Just like Arizona’s stay at home order affected your family, it definitely affected mine and then it affected my marriage. Don’t worry guys, nothing crazy. I just CRAVED date nights. My husband and I were pretty committed to our 1-2 date nights a week so when that all of a sudden STOPPED completely, I didn’t exactly adjust very well.
I threw a fit deciding Netflix was ruining my marriage. A little dramatic and extreme but I mean, pretty accurate.
Except, we were the ones in charge of the remote.
I think it was when we had caught up on all of our favorite shows on Hulu when I decided I just couldn’t handle any more crap television. So instead of wasting another 15 minutes of our lives trying to decide what to watch, we decided we would be finding other activities to do together.
Together we made a list and we pick and choose as we go.
Currently, one of our favorites and pretty consistent is playing cards.
~oHmYgOsH we have SO much fun playing cards and it allows us to have the mOsT meaningful conversations that I will cherish FoReVeRRRRR!!!!!!!
That sarcastic and mocking statement is kind of true and kind of a big load of crap.
You see, I am what you call a very competitive person. Very is actually an understatement. I’m not competitive in life and relationships. You know how some mom circles have silent competitions of trying to be better than one another? I don’t really know how they work because they aren’t my thing, but I’ve heard of them. I’ve had friends come to me about advice if they get sucked into one. The only interest I have in competing in momlife is with myself because I want to be the best mom I can be for MY kids every single day because I’m busy minding my own motherhood.
I am, however, competitive on game night.
Our dear friends invited us over for game night during the holidays a couple of years ago and I’m pretty sure the reason we don’t get invited anymore is because of me. Just kidding, they have invited us over multiple times but my friend’s husband never misses an opportunity to tease me about that incident involving Pictionary. Obviously he brings it up because he was caught cheating and I was the amazing player who successfully earned the winning points.
I think this competitive characteristic deep inside of my bones comes from genetics. Or maybe it was taught to me through example. Could it have been the conversation with my dad when picking jersey numbers for little league baseball? Or maybe it was during mini golf on vacation with my family when I purposely moved my sisters golf ball? It definitely could have been the time my mom became so frustrated during a game that she repeated the directions through her teeth and I swear she was going to turn into a fire breathing dragon.
Either way, this competitive characteristic has led me to flip over monopoly boards. To be fair, this hasn’t happened since before college. Also, I have been avoiding monopoly ever since. Boundaries, ya know?
Thankfully, monopoly isn’t very fun with just two people so we haven’t played it during our stay at home dates. What we have played is Rummy 500.
My husband is not competitive when it comes to… well, anything. So when we play cards, he goes into it thinking, “Wow, I get to sit across from my beautiful wife , have fun and enjoy my time with her.”
Then there’s me. Who wants to win. Every. Single. Time.
It’s bad. This has tested my marriage more than any Netflix binge watching could ever do. Actually, I take that back. This has tested me as a WIFE and BEST FRIEND because my husband literally does not care about some stupid card came. He doesn’t care about winning and uses absolutely no strategy to complete a round.
Just typing this is starting to make me sweat a little.
Before the first time we dealt the cards, I silently said a little prayer.
*Dear Lord, please help me to be humble and gracious. Please help me to have fun and enjoy this time with my husband. Amen.*
There have been times we leave the kitchen table and brush our teeth in silence because we looked up the rules after a move he made. If you look up the rules, there are pretty much five million different versions. My husband does this thing where he will hold all of his points in his hands until he can lay them all down at once, then discard and end the round. This always leaves me with lots of cards in my hand and negative points.
He has finally agreed not to do it anymore. Nothing gets my blood boiling more than that move. Sometimes he will still *accidently* do it because “he couldn’t decide what he was doing with all of those opportunities and points in his hand”until low and behold he picks up THE PERFECT CARD to help him decide. .
If he does this, I always do it back to him the next round.
AND HE DOESN’T EVEN NOTICE.
I HAVE been getting better with my competitiveness though. I suppose 6 months of date nights at home provide enough practice. I was even starting to think I have a lot more humility and grace when it comes to five rounds of a card game. So recently, I finally confess to Anthony that before we play, I have to say a little prayer.
He laughed and shared that HE says a little prayer TOO and it goes something like this, “God, please just let me lose so I can have fun with my wife.”
AHAHAHHAHAHA. We laughed so hard. And then I took a big ‘ol slice of humble pie.
Ugh, why is my husband so perfect. Since that conversation I’ve been able to let go of my pride, actually have fun and have conversations that I will, in fact, cherish forever.
I’ve had to work through a lot of character flaws since we said “I do” and I had to be pretty intentional since starting to play cards with my husband. He never pointed them out to me. I was always just secretly doing the work on my heart as well as silently dying inside if he ultimately beat me. Anthony could see this work happening and he continued to get out the cards and invite me to play.
Over and over.
Because he “loves me and just wants to have fun with his beautiful wife.”
Exactly what a date night should be, especially if you’re just at home.
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Hey Sister! I’m Mandy. I live by my faith, love my husband & kiddos, will do anything for tacos and believe community is life changing.