Is She Nice To You?

Is She Nice To You?

“Is she nice to you?” 

Here is my response to a question/statement people make in regards to stepmoms. 

Recently, I overheard someone ask my stepson this. I don’t care how my little bonus babe answers, so I walked away. 

I don’t care because 

  1. I know who I am as a child of God

  2. Kids don’t like their parents all of the time 🤷🏼‍♀️

  3. It’s not my JOB to be nice to ANY of my kids. 

Still, Il want to pop back in sight and chime in whenever someone asks this question though.

“No, I’m not nice to him! 

“All stepmoms are MONSTERS! 

“Straight to work from Satan himself to ruin the lives of every stepchild possible! I wake up in the morning and prowl to his room to stare at his sleeping face and plan all of the ways I will make his life miserable, over and over! I keep a journal of all of the things he hates for breakfast, lunch, dinner and the five million and ten snacks he eats throughout the day and ONLY feed him those nasty things. I hide all of his favorite t shirts before he arrives. He only gets to sleep in the bathtub AND I never EVER wash his fav blankie.

Also, I started a special club for other fellow stepmoms so we can all come up with new ideas together.”

Wait, what? No. Wicked stepmoms were only in Disney movies. Okay, I’m sure there are some awful ones out there… but I am not one of them.

So really, who do YOU think I am as a person? My feelings sometimes get hurt but not in regards to this. I know who I am.

I am chosen.
I am deeply loved.
I am blessed.
I am a beautiful daughter of a King.
I was also handpicked by God to love a child I did not give birth to— what an incredible honor.

So am I nice to my bonus babe? 

Who do you think….

•Plans the birthday parties? THE WHOLE THING. And sends the thank you cards after…

•Does the laundry? Especially making sure the favorite pajamas are always clean for return.

•Sets the reminders for appointments?

•Plays their favorite song on repeat and sings all the words at the top of their lungs with him? Windows down, of course.

•Adds the favorite snacks to the cart?

•Puts together activities based on current obsession?

•Can carry on a conversation about any and every topic that pops into their little head?

•Wipes their butt? Because of course they are just *too tired*

•Prays over them? Every night before they go to bed. Even if they aren’t sleeping under the same roof.

Oh that’s me!! 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

Because I have the honor to be THAT person, I also have been trusted with the opportunities to keep ALLLLL of my children safe, loved and blessed.

•Like bedtime. Oh you don’t want to go to sleep? God calls us to rest and when you rest you have energy to be sweet, loving and kind and do all of the fun things. PLUS, have you done the research on how sleep deprivation affects the brain? Because I have. So this is not a choice, go to sleep. 

•And eating three meals and snacks a day. Yes, I load up on their favorites. But I’m also not going to allow food dyes and I am going to carefully monitor sugar intake. Hello? I studied child development. So, Yay! Lots of fruits and veggies 🙌🏼🙌🏼 but they can cross their fingers and throw up some prayers that Daddy sneaks in with donuts or surprises with an impromptu ice cream trip because… compromise.

•Or being a serving brother or sister in our home. That’s a family value, so find a way to be sweet and love each other well or we can practice all day with my little stories, scripture and examples of how God wants us to treat each other. If you have a hard time, you can also miss out. Chances are no one wants to be around someone who isn’t being sweet and serving. 

Yet still. Just like not everyone in my family appreciates that I stayed up late last night overthinking and analyzing the whole day and how I can make their lives better/easier/more fulfilled…. sometimes they also do not appreciate that I believe God put me in the lives of these tiny humans not to be their bestie but to set them up for success, love them where they are at and above all else…. teach them about Jesus ❤️❤️

“YOURE MEAN!” Yup, because if I let you jump off the top of that you’d probably break your arm. Which, I mean, someday is probably going to happen. But not TODAY. Hashtag mom with lots of boys.

“I DONT LIKE YOU!” That’s a big feeing, It’s okay to feel that way for a moment. I love you. And Jesus loves you. And we have a lot more fun when you are sweet with your words. I’ll wait.

“*insert crying and incomprehensible jibberish between sobs*” I’m here for you, you have Jesus in your heart and I will hold you until you are calm and I will give you a hug when you’re ready to talk. Until then, I’m here, right here. 

So asking a child “is she nice to you” is just a silly question/statement people make in regards to stepmoms. Something you’d probably never ask a child about their biological parents. 

And is just a reflection that the person asking the question truly has no idea the role a stepmama plays ❤️❤️

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Hey Sister! I’m Mandy. I live by my faith, love my husband & kiddos, will do anything for tacos and believe community is life changing.

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